couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

Okay I’m watching a ‘true-story’ ghost show and this lady is getting an exorcism and the dude performing it was like “but we had a very powerful relic to help us….The Actual Blood of Saint Agnes!” And like…she’s my confirmation patron so I can’t help but be a little defensively skeptical here?? She died, like, during the Roman empire? Like….14 AD? Who….thought to save her blood? How eas it preserved all these years? How did this random guy end up with it? I need answers

Me, banging on this dude’s door at 3 in the morning: SHOW ME YOUR RECEIPTS

Okay update: Her skull and bones are on display at a church named after her, but other than that I found no mention of any sacred relics. There WAS a brief mention that at her execution fellow Christians cleaned up her blood with cloth (but like….wouldnt that out them as Christians????) but there’s no mention of that still existing today as an actual relic. How do I get in touch with the ‘a haunting’ showrunners? I need to track down this exorcist and get him to show me a legit chain of custody dating back to 304 AD before I let this drop.

Woman on the show: This demon has been following me my whole life, was influencing my young son to have violent black outs and I was possessed so badly the Communion bread felt like hot lava scorching down my throat. I had to have a long and painful exorcism in which I spoke in tongues, floated off the floor and almost died.

Me: Wow! Yeah, that sounds super real and plausible, I’m very intrigued 

Woman on the show: Luckily, my exorcist had the actual blood of St. Agnes to help him-

Me: Now Hold On There Just One Dang Second