tarotjedi:

“Nosy Neighbours, Begone!” Spell

Warning: Possible fire hazard. Please do the spell responsibly and safely. Please PM me if the spell has dangerous loopholes I should fix.

What you’ll need:

– One candle of any color to represent your neighbor(s), preferably something laughably small like teacandles

– A match to light it

– Bucketful of water

– Pepper to be mixed into the water. If you’re feeling super spiteful, grab a fistful.

– Your bathroom to do the whole spell

– Your intent

Steps:

0. It’s preferable to CGS first (Center, Ground, & Shield) and maybe lock/salt your front door so you’ll be undisturbed for the rest of the spell

1. Light the candle, then blow the match. Don’t dump it to the trash bin yet because it’ll be important.

2. The flame of the candle represented your neighbor’s nosiness burning inside of themselves, taking your space & taxing you without regard to how you feel, just like a flame burning everything it touches indiscriminately. Think about how annoying that is. Think about how annoying the flame to exist no matter how many times you said no and turn off your neighbors. Ughhh uuugh UGGGGH, let it build on the small flame.

3. You see, your neighbors keep bothering you because their nosiness is still alive. So we have to put off that flame, right? Take your bucketful of water, mix it with pepper. As you stir, know that this water is no longer just any water to put off a flame. It’s a protective water, so it’s DOUBLE strong. And you have a bucketful of them vs. their puny flame of nosiness. So it’s TRIPLE strong. It WILL work because the energies at YOUR hand is set to make you win.

4. For the final touch, dump HALF the bucketful of your overpowered protective water to the flame and watch in satisfaction as the flame gets put off and is no match for the amount of water rushing over it. That means there are stronger energies, subtle and subconscious (water) they may be, that is working to protect you and is definitely stronger than your neighbor’s obtrusive willpower (fire).

5. Dump the other half of your Power Water™ to the match you used to light the candle. This will make sure the fire of your neighbor’s nosiness will never be lit again because the match is now damp, right?

6. Now you can dump the match to the trash bin and watch as whoever tries to even retrieve it (whoever wish to be nosy at you again) shall suffer the bad vibes.

7. (Optional) Do the evil laugh.

8. (Optional) Say thank you to Universe/Higher Perspective/your guardian for providing you all the means to protect yourself. Know that they got your back and know that you’re bigger than any threat presented at you.